DIY: Reward System for Kids

We were having a hard time figuring out consequences and reward that were suited for our family and our style of parenting. We have learned by trial and error as most of you probably have. About 8 months ago, we were going through several changes in our life. We sold our house, moved, started one of our babes in school, and added several other time consuming activities to our life. On top of everything the kids were feeling the stress of the changes before the move and afterwards our world of "behavior and obedience" pretty much fell apart. My days were spent in survival mode moving from one behavioral crisis to the next. Something had to change! Michael and I tried everything... one on one quality time, special outings, time outs, corporal punishment, taking away toys and privileges, the list goes on and on, yet not much changed.

Flashback two years! I found myself in the presence of shear genius. I was sitting at the vet and beside me sat another young mom with 4 young boys about the age of my own. As I sat there watching these 4 brothers that reminded me so much of my own boys at home, I heard the mother reprimand one of the boys behavior and say, ""When we get home, you owe me a brother buck.". I stopped dead in my tracks at that moment I had to know what a brother buck was... so I not being one to sit silent told the mom... I must know what a brother buck is! She was happy to share her system of rewards and consequences they used in their family. I loved it, and tucked it away in my mental bank for a rainy day.


Flash forward! It hit me in my desperation one day, maybe we could do some sort of sticker chart... and all of a sudden I remembered the system of Brother Bucks. My sweet husband ran to the local Dollar store and the next morning we started a new system of consequences and rewards and 8 months later it is still working like a charm.

In less than two weeks our entire family attitude was refreshed. As parents we were 1. focused on the positives in the kids behavior more than the negative and 2. refocused on the need for consistency!! Two things that we had lost in our survival mode; and the boys were excited to work for rewards. They were using their manners, speaking kindly to one another, and working towards their own personal behavioral goals, most of the time.

So here is the rundown!


The boys are rewarded for putting the fruits of the spirit into practice. Each time we catch them using a fruit of the spirit, they are rewarded with a brother buck. Each brother has a special basket to keep his brother bucks in. Periodically we find them counting their bucks and trying to decide if they want to spend or save. The boys are allowed to turn in their bucks at anytime, but also know that some rewards are instantaneous like a sucker or dessert after dinner.... while others have to be scheduled, like dates, and family outings. (by the way, there are spending limits on both of these rewards). If the boys are acting disrespectfully or being disobedient Michael and I always hold the right to have the boys return one, or all of their brother bucks back to us.

I made a quick chart using Microsoft word, eventually I would like to write the rewards on a replace it with a small chalkboard. For now, I have the document displayed in a spare picture frame, and kept near the baskets.

dum dums are always in our pantry... Brennan likes to turn his brother bucks 5 at a time.

Galatians 5:22

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law or punishment against such things.

Musings from a Mother of Boys: Follow up from the Ingeted Lego

Well, many of you have read our happenings with the ingested Lego. Thank you to those of you who commented and helped to put my worries at bay, and for those of you that have followed up with phone calls or in person inquiring of the outcome of the toy.  If you didn't see that post late last week, you can catch up here. 

You all now know the Lego was swallowed around 8:00 Thursday morning. Well, all day I stayed alert waiting for Brennan to make any notion that he may need to use the restroom. Sure enough, around 6:00, Brennan took off to the restroom where he found his brother. Which, was good for me.. I needed the alert.
Brennan: "Hurry, I need to go poo."
Brother: silence
Brennan:"HURRY!!"

Ah, the moment I had been waiting for all day had come.  (I want to take a moment and place a little side note. Any of you reading this that are not mother's yet... I know that I may sound a little dramatic, but one day you will find yourself, for one reason or another, waiting for your sweet precious to pass a little stink bomb. And the relief you will feel when everything looks normal is well.... good.) So, I'll continue.. the moment came,  I grabbed a trash bag and ran to the bathroom. stretched it over the potty seat and gave Brennan some privacy.  After a few minutes he was finished and low and behold... the Lego was delivered! 

Well,  for those of you who have not dealt with this particular issue... here is my advice on how to find an ingested object in stool.  (Gross, I know... but hey it's a part of motherhood and so I will continue.. if nothing else than to fill your curiosity.)

First, and possibly the trickiest part, catch you child before they have to go potty.  Raise the lid and seat of the potty and spread a trash bag over the inside (as if placing it in a trash can).  Lower the seat and let your little one do the doo.  When finished, remove the bag and tie the top in a knot. (This is the grossest part) Smash on the bag, to determine if the lost object is present.  I opened the bag and used TP to remove the item and sanitize well with bleach. "What? It was a brand new toy... "  Then dispose of the trash bag, OUTSIDE!

Well there you have it! A long day with a happy ending! And yes, Brennan did get his Golden Lego saw (above) back.

Wordful Wednesday Psalm 127:3-5

"Behold, children are a gift of the LORD, The fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, So are the children of one's youth. How blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them; They will not be ashamed when they speak with their enemies in the gate."

 Psalm 127:3-5

Musings from a Mother of Boys: The one with the ingested Lego!

"Look Brennan, Mommy found your Lego."
"Thank you, Mommy."
"Your welcome, be careful not to drop it so you can play with it when we get home, OK?"
"OK."

Yes, that was how the conversation went this morning when getting back in the car from dropping my oldest son off at school.  Brennan had just bought a new Lego Ninjago set two day before and had lost a small saw-like weapon on the way home from the store.  Well I found it and Brennan seemed to be a very happy boy, UNTIL...

Driving down to road, I heared gasping, gagging, coughing, and more gagging. I quickly and abruptly pulled over to the shoulder of the road, unbuckled him just in time for him to gag, cough, cry, (All the while me holding it together on the outside and panicking on the inside) and then gulp... the Lego went down. Brennan was breathing (answered prayer).  However... now part from the choking and part from the realization that his BRAND NEW toy was now in his tummy, panic came over his face and he began to clammer up my leg, screaming.  I finally consoled him enough that I felt like I could buckle him in his seat, and we headed home, with one panicky boy and a quite frazzled mommy.  Of all the things we have dealt with, busted heads, broken bones, screws in the nostrils, cuts and bruises... this is our first dealing with ingested toys.  I guess it had to happen sooner or later!  For now, he sleeps.




So I guess we will have Brennan poo in a bag for a few days so hopefully we can make sure the Lego saw passes... Haven't decided if I'll try to clean it up and give it back to him or just throw it away. (I know your probably disgusted that I'm even considering it, but I am. )


Have you guys dealt with ingested money, toys, ... anything foreign?  What did you do? How long did it take to come out? Help a momma out!  Suggestions wanted!

How To Clean a Boys Bathroom and Kill the Smell!

After reading this post @ MOB Society.com  I couldn't stop laughing.  I mean what Mom of Boys doesn't encounter a stinky, smelly, gross, spotted yellow, bathroom. Judging on the amount of comments, I am guessing the post struck a cord with many of us.  Well, It definatley did with me. 

I have three boys 6.5, 4.5, and 3.... and I'm pretty sure only one of them even attepts to look at the potty and aim...  then they walk right out, no flush, and no hand washing... leaving grossness behind.

This sign has seemed to help with the flushing and washing hands... Just a thought.

The night before I read the MOB Society post, I was walking through the house and was over taken with a horrible gas station bathroom fragrance wafting out of my bathroom and down the halway. BTW, I had just cleaned the bathroom 3 days before... and I mean CLEANED the Bathroom. 

There were so many great suggestions made on how to keep the smell down and seeing this is a problem for many of us, I wanted to tell you what I do to kill the spills. 

1.  I always clean the bathroom after bathtime. That way I know it will stay clean for at least 8 hours, while the boys are in bed... just makes me feel good.  
2.  I pull the kids out of the bath, without draining the tub, and pour in the bleach.  (I don't really believe in using measuring cups... but I probably use a cup or so.) 
3. While the tub and tub toys soak. I gear up in my grungies and yellow rubber gloves.
4. I use clorox toilet cleaner with bleach to coat the potty and let it set while I scrub the bathtub, and use the same bleach water to scrub the floor and bottom of potty.  (If it's really bad, sometimes I sqeeze out my rag over the floor and potty and let it sit)
5. After draining and rinsing the bathtub and floor. I wipe down the walls and vanity walls. 
6. Then I wipe the potty...
7. I use a different rag to wipe down the mirror and the sink with windex.
8. And usually mop the rest of the floor with Vinegar once a week.  Then I'm Done. 

It really only takes about 10 minutes to do all that.
I also keep orange sent Clorox wipes under the sink and the potty gets wiped down every evening while I'm letting the littles play in the tub.  I'm still careful about what cleaner I allow the boys to use, so I don't feel like cleaning the bathroom is a chore that is age appropriate in our family. ONE DAY IT WILL BE THOUGH!!!